I'm talking about betrayal, bullying, force, pain, real things that cannot be avoided by how you perceive your self-image or how others do.
Of these only 'pain' is an emotion.
It's not bad or unjustified or whatever if you feel 'pain', it's more than human to feel pain, cause life is suffering and pain is almost a given of the human condition.
But are you doing yourself a favour when you let the pain influence decisions that you make?
For example, if you had a bad break up with a girl you absolutely love.. and in order to avoid the same pain you choose not to engage in new relationships ever again.. then, one must ask, are you doing yourself a favour by letting the pain take this decision for you?
I mean, I would respect the decision if it was made 'logically'.. if you had truly come to the conclusion that relationships, by principle, are not worth it cause they only bring harm to those involved. But IMO that one is hard to uphold. There are many types of relationships, even unhappy relationships sometimes last and have their own merits. Rather than discarding the entire idea of being in a relationship... wouldn't it make more sense to take the lessons you have learned from the pain, from the past relationship and use it to guard yourself against new pain in a new relationship, that also gives a fair share of happiness?
The world is full of people who have divorced or been in a painful break up. They all carry their own pain with them. AFAIK that doesn't disqualify them from a future positive relationship. One might even say that as they grow older, and experience more and more good things and bad things in the field of love, they grow more wise and know better what to expect in a relationship and how to make it so that both parties CAN enjoy it?
It's hard to get it right the first time. And it never hurts as much.
This is what I mean when I say that emotions tend to go over the top and become self-destructive. The pain in this case can help you set boundaries in your next relationship, or even enable you to understand and support others who have gone through the same thing. Or, as cruel as it sounds, help you 'grow' in life..
Mental growth is built on pain, on suffering. Ask Jesus
No person is as uninteresting and annoying as a person who hasn't experienced hardship in his life. People relate not with success, but with pain and suffering.
Point is, while things like pain, anger, sadness, etc. are all very real emotions, you always have to keep asking yourself whether they are not blocking you from making decisions that, logically, are better for your own well-being.
With fear for example. If you have a fear of heights it sometimes does its work just fine (climbing a really unstable, shoddy ladder is a bad idea, for ANYONE), while at other times its only blocking you (when for example you get the chance to climb a church tower and enjoy the view from up there, it's a nice experience, and the actual danger level is virtually 0).
A lot of people would act on the fear and skip both the ladder and the church tower experience. Others, who foolishly want to prove themselves, would neglect the fear and do both, possibly hurting themselves falling off the ladder or leaning just too far from the church tower's balcony
Logically ofcourse the best thing to do is skip the ladder, while still doing that tower trip (minding your step), even if it makes you feel SUPERSCARED.
Emotions should always be the bitch of the truth
But unfortunately almost everyone experiences them as a force, that not put into words, remains vague, powerful and overwhelming. But when you put them on paper you see its weaknesses, its lack of 'truthfullness' and how, even if they make sense, are not helpful in life, and as such might just as well get pwned.
Forums
