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Mental illnesses (my story)

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TheKomodo:

--- Quote from: KinslayeR on October 08, 2017, 12:11 PM ---i f@#!ing couldnt understand how could lovely girl which so many times cried and blocked the door when I was about to go home and she beg me to stay a little longer ..  now became total stranger, weird

--- End quote ---

This is EXACTLY part of what i'm going through right now too.

We cried together so much cuz we were so happy we found each other, and couldn't believe how amazing it felt when we were together, she literally clung onto me whenever i'd try to leave, she told me i'm the only person who ever truly understood her, even with all her problems, how I tore down all her barriers and made her feel safe and amazing again, how she wanted to marry me and have kids and a little cottage and a little collie dog, never before would I sit up literally for 5-6 hours just chatting and laughing like crazy, just lying cuddling for hours and hours every single second my heart burning with warmth and complete satisfaction...

I won't get into to much detail because not nice to talk about another persons personal life without permission, but 1 moment changed everything, and for few months so many other problems in her life took control and I don't know, maybe she was so stressed and upset and scared she couldn't hold it together with me, then 1 day I woke up she was gone, no letter, no goodbye, just gone, she blocked my number, my emails, everything, finally found out she's back in Wales living with her Dad, and still won't even talk to me.

I'll never be happy again, ever...

Godmax:

--- Quote from: Sensei on October 08, 2017, 12:25 PM ---Let ppl talk, Godmax. This is not a thread for you.

--- End quote ---
When Kins is posting then sure it is

Xrayez:

--- Quote from: KinslayeR on October 08, 2017, 12:11 PM ---And sorry Xrayez but I dont believe in this "tapping" shit and in all that crap like "think positive , then it will be 100% good", yeah sure..   Tell it for 5 years dying kids with cancer, yes they sure die coz they did not think positive.. TOTAL CRAP imo
Music helps a lot for me, games, movies travelling,sport, kinda everything what YOu enjoy and make You feel better, if u dont like ur job - then quit it, do smt for urself and dont care about others opinions

--- End quote ---

This was exactly my thinking until I actually started to try this on myself.
Games, movies, sport are good coping skills in this regard, but I think it would be better to become free internally.

Make this little experiment:

* Sit down, all by yourself, no distractions. Don't even move. Relax.
* Now try make yourself feel good. Find something internally that would make you feel happy at the moment.
* Now do the opposite. Make yourself feel bad internally.What is your result? Do you find that making yourself feel bad is easier than feel good?
No wonder why we choose something external to feel better. Is this really freedom?

And about "positive thinking" part: do you know why you tend to reject it? Because internally you go through this kind of process:

* Yeah I like this, but ...
* Yeah sure, but what if ...Negative overrides the positive. You can actually screw up your good memory that way, consciously or subconsciously.

HHC:
I don't see much good in the positivity-business either. I can only see it as something to get people's hopes up before reality kicks them in the face once again.. Positive feelings must come from within, if its not rooted there its just superficial, forced happiness.. a balloon waiting to be popped.
In that respect you are right though rayez, positive feelings are much more valuable than negative ones.. It's just that when you spread that message people will naturally resist it, because they feel that it doesn't acknowledge the negativity they experience.. Basically you are one step ahead  :-[

Focus should be IMO on tackling negative feelings, rather than inciting positive ones.

We all experience shitty things in life, the difference between happy and unhappy people mostly lies in the way they deal with the shit.
Basically, when something happens it's:
Event -> Reflection upon event -> emotion -> response to event (behaviour)

The event is the same for everyone, but everything that follows after is different.. and under your own control.
Example:
Event: a girl calls you an ugly f@#!tard

How a 'shy' person typically reacts: reflection (aff, why does this happen to me? I know i'm ugly but c'mon!) -> emotion (sad, self-hatred, angry) -> behavioral response (*bows head* and heads home for some emo-cutting  :-[)

How a 'happy' person likely reacts: reflection (what the f* is that bitch's problem? I'm not the most handsome in the world, but there are chicks who like me, so that can't be it. She probably has some issues that makes her act like a skank) -> emotion (*meh*) -> behavioral response (walk on, ignore the whole thing, go home and enjoy some music)

Basically, when you realize how this works you also realize that 95% of bad emotions you feel are unnecessary, unproductive, harmful bullshit that serve absolutely no purpose.


And to the young ppl here I can only say.. it gets better when you get older. At some point you stop giving a shit about other people's opinion and you do just as you please, because yeah, what's left to prove? It's a madhouse anyway.

Set one or two goals in life, that are short term and humble. If it blows up in your face, you simply start over, or with a new goal.
And everything else:

TheKomodo:
I
--- Quote from: HHC on October 08, 2017, 02:33 PM ---Basically, when you realize how this works you also realize that 95% of bad emotions you feel are unnecessary, unproductive, harmful bullshit that serve absolutely no purpose.

--- End quote ---

Nah, I disagree, you are talking about superficial things, vanity, materialism, etc...

I'm talking about betrayal, bullying, force, pain, real things that cannot be avoided by how you perceive your self-image or how others do.

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