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Mental illnesses (my story)
STRGRN:
--- Quote from: TheKomodo on October 08, 2017, 10:24 AM ---Xrayez, the memories don't bother me... In fact those events helped me to become the intelligent, strong, competitive person I am today...
But the downside to the intelligence is knowing how humans act, that bothers me, it's constantly being betrayed in life cuz people are selfish and greedy, it's being able to predict bad situations unfolding accurately and not being able to do anything about it, being blindsided by love and NOT seeing it coming...
Today, right now, I just got back from LIDL, doing my shopping, as I walked from the checkout I saw 2 little boys like 7 years old or something, 1 of them was hiding, he jumped out on his father and the 2 kids, myself, and few others were laughing, the father got so angry and started yelling at his child calling him silly etc, imo that father doesn't even deserve those children, f**king taking away their innocence, creativity and humour...
I really felt like grabbing him by the throat and shouting so loud he'd literally piss himself... But ofc I didn't...
I don't really wanna die cuz I hate myself, it's cuz I hate the f**king world I live in...
--- End quote ---
intereresting story, but why the f did you go to lidl
KinslayeR:
Hi voltage, thanks for share ur story, they say after the rain there will be sun and I hope it will happen for You,Komo and all other ppl here living in the darkness.
I am kinda in depression too from long time, but I wouldnt really call it depression, my life is just dark and lonely, maybe thats the path I choosed somewhere there long time ago coz I definatelly was not raped or any of this dirty things did not happen to me. Yes, I had many bad experiences which I dont really want to share at public, I just can say that betrayals, problems with law, fake friends, fake loves, bad lucks (and I am not talking about worms here :D )and all that other shit are well known in my life. Still the saddest time for me was after breaking up with my gf after 3 years of great time, I really loved her and was kinda sure she will be my wife and really nothing indicate that smt can go wrong, but in the f@#!ing new year she just left without 1 word and became totall stranger for me. Just like someone touched her with magic wand. Couldnt even know the reason why, nothing..
So I decided to follow her, I followed her in job, in the car, in her free time, I was like a little spy coz i f@#!ing couldnt understand how could lovely girl which so many times cried and blocked the door when I was about to go home and she beg me to stay a little longer .. now became total stranger, weird. But yes, after some days of spying I saw her with another guy who spent night in her house, so all was clean for me, and then when I wanted to talk with her she just called police on me.. Really all girls are whores?
I was totally f@#!ed up, I felt like all I want is gone now, sorrow is all I have.. But it is already 10 months and I must say that time helps, it still hurts and I dont think I want be in relationship again, coz it is really easier to live alone than feel the time it is over.
This f@#!ing 2017 year started very bad for me, first girlfriend, then I lost like 40k in the poker and at bookmakers, like whole moneys I had, I even quit job as I am ski instructor in winter time but I really couldnt handle it, couldnt talk to ppl, make fake smiles with them, did not enjoy anything.
I dont take any pills, drugs or any other chemical shit, maybe they are good and help for start, but then it is even worse. And sorry Xrayez but I dont believe in this "tapping" shit and in all that crap like "think positive , then it will be 100% good", yeah sure.. Tell it for 5 years dying kids with cancer, yes they sure die coz they did not think positive.. TOTAL CRAP imo
Music helps a lot for me, games, movies travelling,sport, kinda everything what YOu enjoy and make You feel better, if u dont like ur job - then quit it, do smt for urself and dont care about others opinions
Godmax:
Bullshit you a sexlover we talked about it a lot during our wonderful matches you enjoyed the sexual fantasies big time
Sensei:
Let ppl talk, Godmax. This is not a thread for you.
TheKomodo:
--- Quote from: STRGRN on October 08, 2017, 11:59 AM ---intereresting story, but why the f did you go to lidl
--- End quote ---
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