To be quite honest, I still haven't found a worthy "purpose" in life either, I am still searching this myself, though I go through good days and bad days often, there are many great things I enjoy and many bad things I endure. One of the reasons for this is ultimately due to childhood trauma, learning about manipulation, deceit, lies, pain, suffering, torture, all from a very young age. This made me mature a lot faster than most kids around me in one way, yet never mature in other ways like seeking a career, getting married, having kids, finding religion etc.
I find value in both good and bad, one definitive thing I've discovered about myself is when confronted with the question am I a good person? My answer is, who is the judge? Yet when I do something good I feel good, when I do something bad I feel bad. Knowing "right from wrong" as a moral compass also helps keep me on track and makes sure I don't hurt other people maliciously though sometimes in life we hurt people without intention.
The main thing keeping me going is Dr. Drake Ramoray, my little floofy friend, or should I say void master, the real owner of this house who allows me to exist here also.


At the end of the day, I stand by my philosophy as it's my guiding principle for behaviour and other than "disagreeing" with people due to my strong opinions, I've done my best to avoid hurting other living beings while fulfilling my own desires and life goals. Trying to achieve ones goals without hurting other people is very important to me.
One of my biggest "flaws" apparently, which is something I've been told a lot, is actually being "too intense" for people, like I have a very addictive personality and can be "full on" too much. This causes people to become exhausted with me quickly and that can get very lonely I assure you. Plus I'm always talking about nature, the universe and whatever, which aren't really small talk subjects, my conversations, if I like you, can sometimes go from 0-299,792,458m/s at the snap of a finger and that's not for everyone. Which is why TUS is a good outlet for me to sit and type.
Having a big sense of humour helps me in my life especially with the trauma I suffered as a kid, some of the things I've seen I wouldn't wish upon anyone. So watching good comedy really helps me when I feel bad, it gets me laughing which gets me back on track.
2 of my favourite quotes which also help guide me:
"It doesn't matter who or what you are, there are always haters out to destroy you or your character, everybody has them, so do what you love doing and have fun doing it, the right people will come along and that matters."
I can't remember who said this, and it's not 100% accurate but it's how I see it and it helped me effectively cut off toxic people out my life.
Where I grew up, half of my friends ended up in jail, drunk abusive assholes, drug addicts, some even doing armed robbery, and some dead, my other "best friends" one cheated on me with my partner of 3 years and got her pregnant when I was 21, 2 of the others betrayed me in ways they don't even realize or understand, and the others were just selfish... I'm extremely lucky to have gotten away from all of that and a huge reason for that is thanks to Worms and hugely meeting M3ntal, they helped me more than they'll ever know. Of course I've got my Dad to thank as well for handling some stuff for me when I was younger.
All of it has hardened my skin though.
I love this quote from Bill Hicks:
"Here is my final point...About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography...What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, or take into my body as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet? And for those who are having a little moral dilemma in your head about how to answer that question, I'll answer it for you. NONE of your f**king business. Take that to the bank, cash it, and go f**king on a vacation out of my life."
Because that's how I see it, not enough people can tolerate the actions of others without getting annoyed to the point they become hostile. As long as their actions are not hostile, yours shouldn't be either.